The Truth
by Arcane-Boomeus
Summary: A self-insert, because ORIGINALITY IN PREMISE IS FOR SCRUBS. The only question is, should you really trust me? Probably not. OCxEvangeline, OCxOC; mentions (for now) of KonokaxSetsuna, KazumixSayo, and I think ChisamexChachamaru (because gynoids need love, too!) rated T for Teens, potatoes, and people who are between 'teen' and 'dead'.


The Truth:

A _Mahou Sensei Negima! _'Self-insert' Fanfiction

Chapter One:

Telling Lies

"_My story... it starts out pretty 'normally'. I mean, I had a normal-ish first day at Mahora, it was a pretty good day, too. Even if I was only a little taller than most of the girls in my class. I mean, I had kinda hoped that, it being Japan and all, I'd __feel like some sort of giant..._

_ Anyways, you probably want to year the story, right? Fine. I'll tell you what's happened up to this point. Partially because I'm not really sure what the hell's going on right now, either._

_ Something bad must have happened, too, because I'm telling this story to (probably) nobody. Maybe I was hit on the head... It can't hurt to recap, can it?_

_ Well, here goes nothing..._

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I stood nervously before class 3-A. My class, now. The child teacher, Negi Springfield, seemed incredibly happy to meet me, as did the majority of the class. The rest... each had a different expression on her face. The short blonde in the back row eyed me like a lion eyes a gazelle. The dark-skinned girl with long brown hair bore no discernible emotions, but it felt like her eyes were piercing holes through mine, like she was considering the best ways to shoot me in the face. Beside her was a girl with similarly dark skin, but light hair and odd face-paint. The red-head with big glasses looked as if she were trying to figure out what was wrong with me. The girl with inky black hair tied in a ponytail on one side of her head... she seemed like a hawk keeping watch for any threats to her babies.

More unnerving, though, was the sheer amount of aura the class had. The gigantic tree outside seemed less like a wonder and more like a standard, now, as at least half of the girls had blazing auras that belied massive amounts of strength and power. Most of the rest were normal- normal being a relative term- and three of them had no aura at all. Negi himself was a blaze of energy, as expected of the child teacher.

"Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?" Negi asked happily. I wondered if he was aware of the large number of powerful students in his class.

_'He IS the son of the Thousand Master,'_ I thought, _'Of course he knows! Geez, __guy__, have a little more faith in people!'_

I bowed, which caused my long (for a guy) hair to obey gravity and hide my face entirely. I blew it out of my face as I finished the bow, and introduced myself. "Hello," I said, glad for the pretty heavy Japanese lessons I'd taken before coming here to Mahora, "I'm *****. ***** _*******_. I'm American, and I was told that Mahora wasn't an all-girls school..." A good number of the class laughed at that, though I hadn't intended it to be a joke- okay, I had, but I didn't expect laughter. I shrugged. "Um, it's an honor to be here and all that, try not to murder me- you know, the usual stuff."

A pair of pink-haired girls who looked exactly the same except for their hairstyles stood up excitedly. I assumed they were twins. "What part of America are you from?" One of them asked in an overly-excited voice.

"Kansas," I replied derisively.

"What was it like?" Asked the other pink-haired twin.

I contemplated the best way to answer that question. "Well," I began dryly, "you could climb a tree and see all of the-"

"Agriculture and beautiful grasslands?" Said a tall blonde sitting in the front row, in an attempt to finish my sentence for me.

I snorted derisively. "I suppose so, but I was going to say 'state'."

"...Oh."

"Yeah. Kansas is pretty much flat. And empty."

"What do you do in Kansas," asked a girl with spiky red hair.

"Plot your escape." Everyone but the ones in the very back row laughed at that and even the tall, stiff girl (the one sitting beside the blonde who looked hungry) suppressed what I guessed was a snicker.

After that, everything proceeded too normally to be of any interest. I was assigned to the only empty seat in the room. When I sat down, I could swear I felt a wave of negativity pulse forth from my classmates, as if I had dishonored a fallen comrade by sitting down. When one considers that the seat is in the center of the room, it becomes apparent that another student once occupied this seat...

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As I had expected, Negi's English class was easy, though the combination of my genius IQ and the fact that English is my native tongue makes that a foregone conclusion. What I didn't expect was the challenge of math class. I'd never had trouble in any class (other than He-who-shan't-be-named's music class, which was required for some reason). Whether it was the fact that I was doing math in Japanese or simply that the math was harder, I am unsure, but I know it's going to be very satisfying.

What was truly difficult, though, was science. Scientific terminology isn't something you think to learn when you're learning another language, but it should be. Fortunately, Satomi Hakase was able to help me out in that regard. That girl is... she's something else. I'm a genius, and it's rare for me to feel intellectually outclassed, but she's... If she told me she was an alien from a highly-advanced world -of, well, _aliens_- I'd believe her, and... I don't believe in aliens.

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After classes, I set out to find Negi. I had to tell him why I'd joined his ragtag class of misfits, after all... that, and explain to him the powers I have, and the dangers that come with them. I went to the classroom, but the only people there were the red-head from earlier, and one of the girls without an aura.

I decided that it would be wise to ask about Negi's whereabouts, so I did. "Where's Negi-sensei? I need to talk with him." I asked the girl without an aura, mainly because I was curious- who or what she was, I did not know.

"K-Kazumi... H-he's looking at me." The girl whispered, as if shocked she was visible. I really wasn't sure how I should respond to something like that, so I shifted my gaze to the red-head, who was apparently named Kazumi.

"Can you see Sayo?"

I shrugged. "If she-" I pointed at the pale, aura-less girl, "-is Sayo, then yes. Should I not be able to...?"

"I-I-I'm a ghost." Kazumi nodded.

"Oh." I said. "That explains her lack of aur-" I slapped a hand over my mouth, so as not to expose myself.

"Lack of what?" Kazumi asked, producing a voice recorder from nowhere in particular.

"Nothing!" I exclaimed. "She's... uh..."

"'Aur', huh? Is that the kind of thing that has to be kept a secret from anybody who doesn't know about-" she leaned close and her voice dropped to a whisper, "-_magic_?"

I grimaced. "If there were such a thing, then I'd be the type of person-" I leaned closer to her and dropped my voice to a whisper, "-_I'd be the type of person who could kill you __very easily__ at this range_."

Sayo made what I assumed was meant to be an angry face, but she was just so _adorable_ that it failed to intimidate me in any way. "If there were such a thing, would you be someone who knew that Negi-sensei is the-"

"Son of the Thousand Master?" I smirked. "Probably not." Sayo giggled, which was enough for me to decide that my joke had been a success.

"Well," Kazumi said, "If all of those things happened to be true, then I would tell you to go to Eva-chan's cabin." She snorted. "Of course, those things are impossible, so, you know, don't do anything like that."

She gave me directions to the cabin, and I smiled. "Thanks. I'll be sure to not go there."

In hindsight, that would probably have been the wiser thing to do.

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That's how I got where I am now. Pretty short story, huh? I guess the question really is, _w__here_ _am I_ now?

I don't know.

I'm laying on my back. My eyes are (hopefully) closed, because I don't see anything. It would really suck if I was blind.

"Master," says a monotonous, British-accented voice (a British accent is very noticeable when the language being spoken is monotone Japanese), "He appears to be awake."

"Wonderful," replies another British-accented voice that sounds rather... smug? Snobby? I'm not sure. I'm disoriented, dammit, give me a break.

"What the hell happened?"

"To make a long story short, I bit you, boy. You're a vampire now."

Now I'm really freaked out. I open my eyes to see the short blonde girl from before and a tall, stiff girl that looked like the one that had been sitting beside the blonde (The only real difference was that her ear-thingies were curved into question-mark shapes. I decide the blonde is the vampire, mostly because I'm pretty sure the tall one is some sort of gynoid. A gynoid is a female android- _andro_ means 'man', so it doesn't describe a gynoid very well.

I mull over the fact that she doesn't seem to be lying as I sit up and hang my legs off of the side of the bed I'm on. "Isn't a little early to be doing that?" I dismount the bed.

"Huh?" The blonde asks, confused by my question.

"Master, I have to agree with him. If this were some sort of... fan-fiction... I believe we'd only be on the third page. Assuming, of course, that he is the protagonist, and he joined 3-A just after the Summer Festival."

The vampire, who seems to be quite annoyed, resumes speaking, ignoring the interruptions provided by the gynoid and I. "You've been out for around a week and a half, while I completed the necessary rituals and ceremonies. Negi and company are visiting _Mundus Magicu_s, so you won't be able to tell him about your powers for some time... assuming they still function."

I began to panic. _'What if my powers are gone?! Will becoming a vampire negate any power I had beforehand? Could this be a joke? I _do_ feel rather alive. Maybe this is all some stupid ploy to get me to reveal my powers to this vampire... The only problem is, why would she _care_?' _My mind carries on like this for several moments, whirring at the speed of thought.

"You don't believe you're a vampire, do you?" The vampire asks, her tone conveying further irritation towards me. I hear the _swish_ of fabric being whipped aside as I watch the vampire swat the curtain aside, then feel a searing pain for the moment that the sun shines through the window before the curtain settles back into place.. I cry out in pain and fall flat on my ass, and the vampire girl laughs, assuming a triumphant pose. "You, *******-san, are my newest apprentice. I sense a great potential for dark magic within you, and we'll be bringing it out to its fullest. Understand?"

I realize at that moment that I'm kinda like Darth Vader right now. That thought alone is enough to make me accept this all. "Yes, my master," I say, suddenly very eager to find out what all vampirism entails.

"Hmm. No, I don't want you to call me 'master'. I'm growing tired of it..." the vampire yawned. "You will call me Ojou-sama."

_'That means 'milady' right? __It's something of that nature.__ Sounds good.' _I nod, then make a small bow. "Yes, Ojou-sama."

"Hmm. No, no, that's not quite right either..." the vampire muses.

"Would 'my liege' would be adequate, master?" drones the gynoid.

The vampire shakes her head. "No... I think it needs to be something... _cooler_."

I decide to rattle off some names that come to mind. "Captain? Sir? Ma'am? Madame? She-who-shall-not-be-named? Commander? Matron of... er... Murder? My darkness? Night Mother?" She arches an eyebrow.

"What was that?"

"Night Mother?"

"No, no, the one before that."

"Matron of Murder? I didn't think that one through very well..."

"After that."

I focus all of my... focus on the task of remembering what I'd said. An answer comes to mind, but I vocalize it as a question."My darkness?"

She grins. "I quite like that..."

For some reason, 'my darkness' sounds a little too much like a lovey-dovey pet name one would bestow upon a lover. _'There's no way I could become romantically involved with her...'_

The gynoid seems to be thinking along the same lines as I am, because she asks, "Master, doesn't that seem a little too... _familiar_?"

A blush appears on the vampire's face, and she backhands the gynoid, sending her flying across the room. "Sh-SHUT UP, IDIOT!"

My tsundere senses are tingling!

"Did you turn me into a vampire because you like me?" I grin. "That's probably the sweetest thing I've ever heard... No, that bear and kitten being best friends is the sweetest thing I've ever heard. But you doing that is a close second."

On the other side of the room, the gynoid staggers to her feet. She begins cleaning up the various books she knocked off a bookshelf she collided with. I feel sort of bad about her being slapped around- or, rather, _across_ the room, but I'm dealing with a potential tsundere here. My hands are full, and she _is_ wearing a maid outfit, so logic stands to reason that she's some sort of maid.

It occurs to me that I made it to 'Eva-chan's cabin,' so the tsundere vampire is probably Eva-something.

"I'm afraid I didn't catch your name, my darkness," I say, attempting to be suave about asking for her name.

She blushes even more than before, as if my asking her name is the most embarrassing thing she's ever heard. "Evangeline A.K. McDowell," she says softly, almost whispering. She's surprisingly cute when she's not acting like a psychopath.

I bow, deeply this time, and smile up at her before I realize that my bangs are covering my face completely._ 'My hair grows really quickly...'_

"The name is *******, ***** *******. It's a pleasure to meet you, Evangeline, my darkness." I straightened back up and blew my hair to the side. The gynoid returns to Evangeline's side, having cleaned up the mess caused by her brief flight.

"M-master. I be-be-believe I am ma-malfunction-ing-ing-ing..." the gynoid's fingers twitch, and I believe her because her voice sounds exactly like the voice of a broken robot in any sort of media (at least, any kind of media that has broken robots and spoken dialogue). I grimace. I have a bit of a soft spot for robots, I'll admit.

Evangeline sighs in annoyance. "What's wrong with you?" she asks, suddenly irritated. I wonder if she's upset because the gynoid interrupted our conversation... it was surprisingly good timing, to be honest- I'm not really sure where that conversation was going.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-" The gynoid collapses suddenly, falling forwards and into my arms. My mind briefly wonders if that should be called 'fainting' or 'crashing'. Her body (chassis?) is heavier than it would have been if she were flesh-and-bone, but she's still surprisingly lightweight.

"Would you like me to see if I can repair her, my darkness? I have some experience with robotics... nothing this advanced, though..."

Evangeline's indifferent scoff surprises me, though it probably shouldn't. I've already pegged her as a tsundere, after all. "I couldn't care less," she says, "she's merely a temporary replacement for Chachamaru while she's in the magical world helping that idiot Negi find his father. A worthless piece of junk made to look like her."

"Is Chachamaru the gynoid I saw with you before?"

Evangeline nods. "Yes. She's quite attached to Negi..." she groans. "It pisses me off."

My mind is blown by the implications of what she's saying so casually. "You mean she feels emotion, Darkness?" I decide I should probably keep using the title she seems to like so much, if only to appease her.

"Despite what she seems to think, yes."

"And this one...?"

"I don't know. It's entirely possible, though."

I nod. "Does she have a name?"

Evangeline shrugs. "_I _haven't named her, so I doubt it."

I decide that I'll ask the gynoid herself once I've fixed her. At the same time, a question springs into my mind, travels around some synapses, does some stuff, and pops out of my mouth. "Did you make her yourself, my darkness?"

She scoffs. "Of course not. You can credit Saotomi Hakase with that."

I believe her. Hakase-san is amazing, after all. I'll see if I can't get her help in fixing the broken gynoid. 'Gynoid' sounds too proper. Maybe 'robot-girl' would be better?

I should probably inform Evangeline of my plans. "I'll ask Hakase-san for advice, then."

"Do as you wish," Evangeline says, before her face twists into a wicked grin for no apparent reason. "After today's training, that is."

I nod respectfully. "Yes, my darkness."

"Don't worry," she said, "training will probably only be an hour or two a day." Something about the way she says this makes me feel like I should worry.

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My jaw drops. "This is the most amazing bottle I've ever been in, my darkness." I'm not lying, either. There's a super-fancy tower in a bottle! Though, I haven't been in a bottle before.

"You've been in a bottle before?" She sounds both curious and surprised, which leads me to believe that this is some pretty uncommon magic.

I smile. "I never said that, my darkness."

She makes an annoyed face. "Don't act coy with me."

I realize that she'll probably kick my ass if I tease her too much. The un-kicked state of my ass, as much as it shames me to say it, is more important to me than my amusement. "I apologize, my darkness. I will avoid doing so in the future... even if you look cute when you're annoyed."

She wrinkles her nose and looks out into the horizon for a moment before speaking again. "I don't suppose you know how to use magic?"

"No, my darkness."

"I don't suppose you know your elemental affinities, then, either?"

Actually, I do. That was part of my (limited) training. "Ice, shadow, and fire, I think."

She looks back at me with a thoughtful face. "Good. I had thought you might prefer gravity... I've not dabbled in it much." She grins. "Ice is one of my specialties, and shadow isn't far behind it."

"I would like to learn fire and shadow magic, then, my darkness. It would be unwise to have the same specialties, would it not?"

"Very well. Fire is rather easy to teach-and learn- after all." She leads me to the center of a large circular platform at the top of the tower (by means of a small walkway that shouldn't have been physically possible) and says, "Most beginning mages use wands to focus their magical energy. As a vampire, you are more naturally talented with magic than a normal human, and you do not need one."

_'If focusing magic is anything like focusing aura, I'll have no trouble at all,'_ I muse, hoping I'm right.

"The incantation you'll be using is-" she held her arm above her head, pointing at the sky. "_Practe bigi nar._.." she intoned, making a slight flourish with her finger, "_Ardescat_!" A small flame winked into existence at her fingertip.

I cleared my throat, held out my hand palm-up, focused energy into my palm the same way I would focus aura, and said "_Practe bigi nar, ardescat_!" A small spark flared into existence in my palm. I grinned. "Amazing..." I didn't even feel the heat of the flame.

Evangeline arches an eyebrow. "For you to succeed on your first try..." she paused thoughtfully. "You must possess some degree of natural talent..."

_She taught me for what seemed like several hours, and was teaching me '__sagi__t__ta__magica__' __spell when I realized that it had been several hours. __I ask, and she explains to me that each session in her resort is 24 hours, compacted into an hour of real-time. I spend an hour or so explaining my aura-manipulation abilities to her. In return, she tells me that Negi-sensei and a large number of the students of 3-A are stuck in __Mundus Magicus,__ and that they'll be facing their 'final battle' in a __few weeks. __I ask if there's anything we can do to help, and she tells me that I'd need at least a year of training before I could hope to be of any help._

_ When I ask her if we could fit that into a week, she smiles. "Of course we can," she says._

_When you don't age, a year seems like a surprisingly short amount of time. Especially when you spend it over the course of a week, learning amazing things from an amazing person._

_ At some point you realize that you're... rather fond of the amazing person, and it takes two weeks or so before you decide that you're not a pedophile because she's centuries _older_ than you are... Then she gripes at you and tells you to perfect the dark magic you've been working on for three days._

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I hold up my arms. The faint swirly-markings indicating my grasp on _Magia Erebea_ give me a strange sense of satisfaction. The training was long and hard, after all. "Why don't you use _Magia Erebea_ anymore, my darkness?"

"Because even without it, I'm still a great deal stronger than most anything you or I will ever encounter..." she smiles mischievously. "and I don't like bearing those markings you seem to think are so cool."

"I can't help but feel like I'm not the only person using this technique, though."

She scoffs. "Don't be ridiculous. It's a vampire technique of my own design, after all. There's only one person who would have the means to teach it, and he acquired that scroll by cheating!"

I decide not to ask. "I feel like we cheated..."

"That boy Negi used the same method to train, and so did that stupid little pup, Kotarou."

I get the feeling she doesn't like this Kotarou kid. "Ah." I decide that now is the time to tell her that I like her, before this battle begins... whenever it does, that is.

"Oh bloody hell."

I'm torn from my thoughts as Evangeline looks out a window. "What's wrong, darkness?" She gestures out the window, indicating that I should see for myself. I look, and I'm shocked by two things that I see.

The first is that the World Tree is glowing, sending a shaft of light straight upwards into the sky... and into the bottom of the second thing.

The second thing is some sort of structure. It's tall, skinny, covered in huge, craggy spikes, and (apparently) lighter-than-air. The lighter-than-air part is particularly impressive, since it's made out of STONE. I'd like to point out that _STONE BUILDINGS DO NOT FLY._

I decide that there are two possible causes for these phenomenon, then quickly realize that it's probably just the big battle Negi-sensei's fighting. I realized this because of the scary-demon-guys flying around the structure I mentioned earlier. They descend upon the campus/town that is Mahora Academy, and Evangeline grimaces. "I suppose we should help them."

She grins a malicious grin. "Are you confident in your ability to fight off those monsters?"

I nod sharply. "I learned from the best."

"Even in direct sunlight?"

"It's only a deadly barrage of radiation from two-times-ten-to-the-thirtieth-power kilograms of exploding hydrogen nuclei," I say, attempting to provide a bit of snarky humor, more to calm my nerves than anything else. Only... now that I put it like that, the sun-resistance training Evangeline put me through sounds like a walk in the park (at night). Of course, it wasn't a walk in the park. She treated it like an allergy- exposure until a resistance is developed. It worked, though- I can be out in the sunlight, but it weakens me both physically and magically.

"I think fire will be more effective than shadow, in this instance."

I nod. "Fire it is, then..." she seems concerned about something, and doesn't look away from the window.

"Is something wrong?"

"It seems you were right. Negi-bouya seems to be utilizing _Magia Erebea_, too."

I grimace. "He's still shorter than me, right?"

"As far as I can tell."

"Then I'm fine with it... but how'd he learn it?"

"I assume he learned it from _him_."

"_Him_?" I asked, putting emphasis on the word just like she had.

"A large, muscle-bound idiot." She sighs. "Go, now. Make me proud."

"I will not fail, my darkness."

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I switched to aura vision. Vampirism changed it, as I had feared, though it wasn't a bad change. The sky becomes yellow, the sun orange. Living creatures with blood in their bodies-prey- are red, and all other life-forms are white. The real changes in my powers are offensive- I can replenish my magical energies by draining the aura from living beings, though I must be in physical contact with them to do so.

Aura vision made one thing very clear.

Mahora is a very crowded place, and there are a lot of those demon-things here right now. As annoying as it is, I can't just go blowing these demon guys up. Evil I may be, but blowing up normal people isn't necessary, and it's not very interesting. I'll need something more precise... _'I should save Magia Erebea __for a desperate situation... but I have no idea how strong these things are... I suppose I have no choice-'_

I'm interrupted mid-thought when a gigantic hologram of the class representative of 3-A appears over the buildings of Mahora. She starts talking about some sort of event held at a festival awhile ago, announces that the invading demon guys are 'martians', and states that the objective of the game is to defend the World Tree from the 'martian invasion'. She announces that there will be locations providing weapons, and says that there will be various 'hero units' aiding in the fight.

It sounds an awful lot like they're using students to combat whatever it is these guys are. _'Would they really endanger their students like that?' _I grimace. "I guess I have to help them... does this make me one of the 'hero units'?"

I decide that being a 'hero unit' sounds badass enough for me to join in on the fun. The only problem is that I'm on the outer edge of campus, and I'm not so good at flying yet. I don't really have a choice, though.

I take a running start and launch myself into the air, focusing on flying towards the World Tree with all my might. It takes me all of two seconds to fly straight into the gargantuan trunk. I'm impressed with my speed, and disappointed in my lack of maneuverability.

_ 'I hope Evangeline didn't see that...'_

I cough, dust myself off, and meet the gazes of several hundred students wearing ridiculous robes and wielding large guns- not firearms, but definitely designed to resemble them. They look at me expectantly, as if I'm some sort of super-cool leader/hero guy about to give a speech before the battle. I shrug it off and look around. The winged demon-things are advancing steadily, but they seem to be too high for the students to take them out reliably.

I guess I can give a speech. Or at least bark out some orders. "ALL RIGHT, STUDENTS OF MAHORA ACADEMY! THOSE, ER, MARTIANS... THOSE MARTIANS ARE ADVANCING ON THE WORLD TREE! THEY MUST BE STOPPED!" Around this time, I got really into the whole speech-giving thing. "DO NOT CONVERN YOURSELVES WITH THE BATTLES RAGING ABOVE. YOU CANNOT INFLUENCE THEM! HOWEVER, YOU CAN HELP FIGHT OFF THESE MARTIAN INVADERS! I WILL TRY AND FORCE THEM TO LAND! SLAUGHTER THEM ALL, LIKE THE MARTIAN SCUM THEY ARE!"

For some reason, this got them all pretty excited. I'm pretty sure that speech was absolutely terrible, too. No time for thinking about shitty speeches, though! I have scary-demon-guys to kill!

I close my eyes and focus my magical energy. I begin my incantation -each mage has his or her own personal incantation, after all.

"_Ignibus inferni (Fires of hell)_

_Umbrae vacui (Shadows of the Void)_

_Vos ego appello! (I call upon you!)"_

Now for the spell- a simple _sagitta_ _magica_ spell, designed to fire a large number of 'magic arrows' ('convergance' may be substituted for 'series' to form a single, larger arrow).

"_Ducentos et sexaginta duo spiritus ignis (Two-hundred and sixty-two spirits of fire)_

_Convenitis et percutiam inimicus meus (Come together and strike my enemy)_

_Magicales sagittas (Magic arrows)_

_Series ignis (Series of fire)"_

I unleashed a volley of fiery _sagitta_ _magicas_, all 262 of them connecting with a target. Smaller-sized demon-things were vaporized upon detonation (did I mention that most fire magic _**explodes**_?!) while the medium-ish ones were merely knocked from the sky. Several large ones were struck, but they don't seem to be too bothered the fiery explosions.

I'm about to cast a more powerful spell when a woman darts through the air and slaughters most of the larger ones with a katana. The _pew-pew_ sounds of the student's weapons flare up in short bursts as the medium-sized ones that I knocked down are systematically destroyed.

After a few moments, I see a flicker of movement in the periphery of my vision. Before I have a chance to look more directly at it, I feel a terrible searing pain in my stomach as the woman I saw before appears in front of me and drives her blade through my chest. I think I remember being told that she's a teacher.

"What the hell!?" I ask breathily. I had intended to shout, but it seems that her sword is preventing me from speaking any more loudly. As the fact that I'm alive registers, a shocked expression flashes across her face before she regains her composure.

Having a sword shoved through my chest doesn't do much in the way of killing me, me being a vampire and all, but it really, _really_ pisses me off. I am strongly considering unleashing the full fury of _Magia Erebea _upon her when she asks, "Who the hell _are_ you? _What_ the hell are you?!"

"I think the real question here is why haven't I killed you yet. Do you have any idea how painful it is to have a sword shoved through your chest? Do you? Because I do, now. Would you like to know what it feels like? I'll tell you. IT. F***ING. _HURTS_."

"I'm sorry. I hadn't intended to leave you alive when I shoved a sword into your heart. My bad." She said it in a snippy, sarcastic tone that I really appreciate (I assume that she won't be stabbing me again, if she's going to the trouble of being a smart-ass about it).

I scoff and turn up my chin. "Well, I, for one, am glad I'm not taking any of your classes. Do you stab all of your students?"

"You're a student?!"

"Yeah. I'll be sure to let the headmaster know that you stab your students. I'm a pretty laid-back guy, but, you know, you STABBED me. What the hell were you even thinking?! 'Oh, hey, I don't recognize that guy, I guess I should just run him through with my trusty sword'."

She grimaces and slowly removes the sword from my chest. Blood spills out as the blade slides out of my body. Natually, as a vampire, blood doesn't bother me. What does bother me, though, is the awful squelching sound the body makes when a sword is pulled out of it. It bothers me so much that I decide to lose consciousness.

Okay, I didn't _decide_ to pass out.

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_Who are you to judge me? You'd most likely be dead after being stabbed like that! Just because the sound of Kuzuhona-sensei's sword being pulled out of my chest made me faint-_

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I groan and open my eyes. _'What a weird dream... it wasn't even three sentences.'_

"Oh, good! You're awake~!"

I look to the sound of the voice and see a woman who... I'm not really sure how to describe her, but I'll try my best! Here goes: '_Daaaayuuum'_. She's also blonde, but most prominent is her very... 'motherly' figure.

"I am most probably awake," I reply, trying not to look directly at her.

"And you're just in time to make it to class!"

"Okay, good!"

I notice something odd when we reach the classroom, and I see fit to address the issue: "You're not Negi-sensei!"


End file.
